Waiting for that ice to melt!

Ok, so when I walk outside, it's all ice because we had like one warm day a few days ago and a bunch of the snow melted but didn't have anywhere to go, so when it got super cold like it is now, it all turned to ice. So when I walk, I slip like Bambi and it's hard to lift my leg to pee so I've been squatting and I pee all over my front leg which my mom isn't too crazy about. Does anyone else have such bad weather that they urinate on themselves - sheesh, I can't wait to move!

And here are some pictures from Christmas:
This is a picture of me in my crown from a Christmas cracker.


And this is a picture of me wearing my new shades, bandanna and flight jacket that my friend Tom bought me. Thanks Tom!


And this is a really embarassing pic that my dad took of me falling asleep during a nail trim and my mom insisted on showing it because she wants everyone to see how good I am for nail trimmies. Whatever.

Merry Christmas to All!

So this morning I woke up and Santa filled my stocking with treats! I thought I would be getting a new sweater or jacket, but my mom said I have too many, which is pretty awesome because I'm tired of getting new sweaters and I prefer treats!
I hope everyone is having a great Christmas!

What is in this fine-smelling stocking?

This is a picture of me eating a beef stick that was in my stocking and I love it so much, I'm smiling like Joe Stains!

Mommy Meme.

So, I was just catching up on the ol' blogs and I ran across Ruby's which had a really awesome meme where she interviewed her mom, and I realized that my mom doesn't get a lot of blog time, so in the spirit of the season (you know, being generous and all) I am going to let my mom do this meme about her. Please try not to fall asleep because that might hurt her feelings.

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Wrapping paper - unless it's a really awkward shape or something or I am super lazy.

2. Real tree or Artificial? Real - I love the way they smell.

3. When do you put up the tree? Usually really late, but this year there will be no tree due to new furniture and no room.

4. Wreath on your door? Nope - just a cheesy brass doorknocker.

5. Do you like eggnog? If it's diluted with mild and doesn't have fake rum flavor. Organic Valley makes a killer nog.

6. Favourite Christmas gift received as a child? My Cabbage Patch Kid - his name was Kim Irving and he had no hair and one tooth. I saw it in my mom's trunk when we were loading the Christmas tree and I was so excited!

7. Easiest person to buy for? Ike's dad.

8. Least easiest? Ike's grandpa Dan. He hates everything.

9. Do you have a nativity scene? No, there's no Santa in them! That's sacrilege! (Just kidding - we're not particulary religious.)

10. Mail or email Christmas cards? Both.

11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? When I was a teenager, I wanted a ski jacket, and my parents bought me an ankle length puffy coat with a hood (it was the 80s.)

12. Favourite Christmas Movie? A Christmas Story.

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? Early December.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Maybe ...

15. Open presents on Christmas eve or morning? I get to open one on Christmas Eve - the rest usually don't get opened until Christmas evening (no young kids around.)

16. Lights on the tree? Old style candle lights that flicker.

17. Favourite Christmas song? Santa Baby (the old one) and The Christmas Song

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? To my parent's house about 20 minutes away.

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer's? Of course!

20. Angel on the tree top or a star? Neither - one of those pointy things.

21. Favourite thing to eat at Christmas? Prime rib and Yorkshire pudding!

22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year? Beach Boys Christmas songs.

23. Favourite Tree ornament, theme or colour? Old European glass.

24. Favourite for Christmas dinner? Prime rib!

25. Brussels Sprouts - love or hate them? They're great done right and awful done wrong.

26. Favourite accompaniment to the Christmas Pud? Custard!

27. Favourite Christmas Carol? Silent Night.

28. Your very Favourite Christmas Thing? When people are surprized and happy!

29. A Christmas wish! To sell our condo next year and move to Washington! And world peace.

30. Tag a Seasonal Six – Martha's mom, Joe Stain's mom, Mango's mom, Darcy, Tito's mom and Suki and Mojo's mom.

And this is a picture of Odin doing his Christmas lights impression. Whatever.

Holiday card.

Ok, so you remember how my mom is super lazy and forgot to get me on the DWB card exchange, well, I want to send out some super awesome cards, and I don't have addresses. Maybe someone could email me a copy of their card list or email me your addresses so I can send you a card?
emilyandian at gmail dot com.
Thanks dudes and dudettes!
And this is me singing ... fa la la la la la la la la.

Tito!

Hey everyone! I just got a comment from a Boston named Tito, and I went to his blog and it had 0 comments! WTF? So everyone, give Tito a warm welcome to DWBs even though he's been posting for almost a year, and I can't believe this one slipped through the cracks!
Here's an awesome pic of Tito I stole from his blog.

And here's an awesome pic of me and Odin because everyone thinks these are so cute.

And guess what? My mom finished the Christmas card! It will be unveiled soon!

What has the woman been doing with her time?

Ok, so my mom forgot to get me on the DWB Christmas card list, and then I got a card from Randi anyway (thanks Randi!), but that lazy woman hasn't even started designing my X-mas card yet even though she has formulated an idea in her feeble, forgetful brain. Seriously, what is she waiting for?
She's also been terrible about helping me visit blogs too, and this has been going on for months. This is just wrong.
Here's a picture of me making sad face, begging my mom to do something already!

Happy Thanksgiving!

I hope everyone gets the table scraps they deserve!

Excuses, excuses.

So, my mom has been making a lot of excuses lately. Not a lot has been happening around here - got a couple of new chairs and a buffet, but I still prefer the couch. I've been trying to think of things to post about - maybe the recent snowfall (WTF?!?) or freezing my non-existent jewels off outside, but that's all really depressing. So we've been avoiding blogging lately and looking forward to spring. Hmmmmm ...
Here's a really cute picture of me in bed thinking about Martha.

WORST DOG IN THE WORLD!

So guess what I forgot? I'll give you a hint ... I'm a guy.
Yep, it's true - I forgot my 1st anniversary, and that makes me the worst dog in the world.
So here it is, my public apology.

My dear, sweet love Martha,
I am so sorry I forgot our anniversary. I know it's no excuse, but my mom and dad were really caught up in the election, and I think I got a little excited too. I know your mom and dad are caught up with the new puppy, and you still remembered, so that makes me ultra crappy. So I wrote you a poem:
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Martha is the prettiest dog in the whole wide world and I am a huge jerk
I love you, and I'm really sorry.
Here is a picture of how sorry I am - can you see I've been crying?


And on a slightly unrelated topic, the Obama's should totally get a Boston terrier! Come on - we're adorable, easy keepers who are totally all American! Does it get any better?
Oh, and I started another blog that I won't keep up on!
http://guardingthewhitehouse.blogspot.com/

OMG! It really happened!!!!

Welcome to the White House, Mr. President!

RIP Pearl

Pearl's cancer spread rapidly, and she died today.

This is her enjoying the last of the summer sun. We will miss you, beautiful Pearl.

SECRETS

So, with the impending winter/doom almost upon me, I've decided to start the season with a good ol' fashioned challenge to prime myself for blogging season!
Here are the rules: Make 3 confessions (Conan O'Brien style) with the pictures to prove them. Then nominate at least 3 friends to do the same!
Naturally, I'll begin.

Secret #1
I love to cuddle with Odin. He's so soft and squishy and warm and hardly ever moves. Plus, he smells good.




Secret #2
I get belly-button lint every day, and it collects at my actual belly button!

Secret #3
This is my third and final secret, and it's pretty embarrassing.
I am MISSING a nipple! I don't know where it went.


I nominate Joe Stains and Doofus Tanner, Lorenza, Peanut and Mango-Man Oh YEAH!

Home at last!

So, my mom and dad are back from their vacation, and I am back from my grandma and grandpa's place. I went to the airport on Monday night to pick them up, and when they came out to the car, I was a little confused because I thought I would be living at grandma's from then on because I was there for soooooooo long and because I had a fever because I developed a bladder infection. But I'm on antibiotics now and am feeling a lot better.
So anyway, my mom and did cool things like sailing and hiking on a mountain and going to the San Juan Islands and I did really boring things like sitting around at my grandma's which is a pretty crappy deal. (Sorry grandma and grandpa! Thanks for taking good care of me!) My mom and dad pretty much said I can go with them next time which is awesome! I don't have any pics to show you from the trip because my mom forgot her camera in the hotel lobby in Seattle, and luckily, it didn't get stolen so they are FedExing it back to her - whew!
So here's an old pic of me because I know you all missed my face and my awesome pirate belly band!

Missing our buddy.

Ike's mom here - our vacation is coming to a close. We'll be home on Monday night, and we are really looking forward to seeing our little guy. The daily Steiner report is that he's doing great with his grandma and grandpa, although he's not allowed to sleep in the big bed. Whatever.

Washington.

So my parents keep talking about Washington and about what they're going to bring and what they're going to do there. So I'm all starting to think about what chewies I'm going to bring and which jackets and stuff, and then I find out that I'm not going!!!! My grandma is going to come here and stay with me, which is ok, but I really want to see the ocean and meet my auntie and uncle and their pups! But my mom said that I'm too big to ride in the plane and I would have to ride in the belly and she's too worried about me having breathing trouble because she would have to sedate me because I'm kind of a freak and once I didn't breathe well on sedatives. Whatever.
My anger is feuling the hurricane! (But really, Hurricane Ike is not my fault and I hope everyone is ok.)
Here's a picture of me with no real meaning because my mom hasn't been taking pics of me lately.

PMS

Save me from my mom!
She's making me feel like this.

Barred from my own neighborhood!

Ok, so we went down to where the GOP convention was, except we couldn't really get down there because they have the whole area fenced off for like 5 blocks and you can't go in unless you are military, a cop or a republican fascist! And then when my mom and I were trying to walk back to the car, they closed the street where the car was parked and my mom was way pissed off because isn't that taking away our civil liberties to not allow us to be in so many parts of our own neighborhood?
But something cool did happen today. My mom and dad were driving by where the fences are and my dad saw this guy who he recognized and he totally loves and he was all "Hey is that Eugene Robinson?" And Eugene Robinson was like "yeah." And my dad was all "Dude, you're awesome!" And the really funny thing is my dad was driving and sticking his head out the sunroof of the car when they were talking which is totally unsafe, but that's how much my dad loves this guy.
And this is a pic of Eugene Robinson!


And this is a pic of me looking at the National Guard guys in riot gear going "dudes, seriously - we're just a bunch of peace-loving hippies!"


And they went on forever until the big fence, and on the other side of the road was a bunch of cops in riot gear too.


And this is a pic of me Barking for Barack in my Obama bandana that my mom made for me with a sticker and some staples. Nice, Mom.

And then we went on a walk for an hour which was awesome and we ran into this ranting guy in an Obama t-shirt and he was talking about how he hates racists (so do I!) and then he saw my Obama bandana and thought it was pretty cool.

Choppers!

Help! We're being invaded! There are helicopters everywhere - and worse yet, republicans everywhere! Send help!

Should I bite them?

But I don't have many teeth!


Help Obama! They're killing me!


I'm resorting to the tongue defense!

RIP Summer!

So, my mom has been really freaking out lately because every night she has a snow dream which is pretty much a nightmare to her and pretty much to me too. Only 1 day left of August means the end of summer is near which also means boots and sweaters and frozen turds. I can't wait until we move.
Here's a pic of me looking handsome.

You are always on my mind.

Ike! Don't eat that!

So, I've started this little habit of eating crap off the floor - cat hair, bits of paper and other things my mom is too lazy to pick up, and my parents are always yelling at me! But I think you gotta try it to see if you like it, right?
But this whole thing reminds my dad of his favorite blog The Sneeze - scroll down to the Steve Don't Eat It for a barrel of belly laughs.
And here is a pic of me eating crap off the ground.

Crazy weekend!

So this weekend we went on an overnight trip like totally spontaneously which pretty much never happens because my mom and dad are old and boring. But last night my mom was talking to Auntie Kathryn and she invited us to visit at her sister's place in Taylor's Falls which is this really cool little town by the bluffs on the river and it's like forever away and on a dirt road and I thought there were only dirt roads in Iowa. And when we got there I was really surprised to find some real craziness going on that you will only understand with pictures.
First, there was this.


Her name is Gaya and she pretty much stayed away from me because I'm so tough - my mom said it's because I'm an a*shole.


And then to make matters worse - they have this annoying little thing called Ruby who pretty much learned to stay away from me too.


But the worst thing was this - MOE! All the time he's all "hi Moe!" "hi Moe!" and blah blah blah totally showing off because he can talk and he snuggles with people and everyone thinks he's the best thing ever. Whatever.


But the worst of the worst was Moe gets all the best treats. Here he is eating coffee cake - coffee cake!


This is me telling Moe to buzz off but he didn't listen and just stole all the attention the whole time. All I have to say is "bye Moe!"


But he didn't get half a huge breakfast sausage like I did, and he didn't get to sleep in a tent with my mom and dad and curl up like a little jelly bean.


One of the best parts of the whole trip was me becoming an Olympic gold medal winner in the category of car farts! My mom and dad are still recovering and so is the sun roof on the car - it got quite a workout!

Back in the game.

Ok, so I totally told my mom to sit her fat a*s down and start helping me blog and go visit some blogs because we have no idea what has been going on lately. And she totally listened to me and that's what we have been doing for like 2 hours or something.
And my mom is finally getting over the birthday phone call disappointment (thanks for all the nice stuff you guys said) and she is back on the horse looking, looking, looking for a better job.
Yesterday, we celebrated my mom's birthday and my grandpa's birthday and we had a party and my grandma made Mediterranean food and these tarts that had custard and cherries and were pretty much the best things ever. I got to eat some shrimp tails and pita and some grilled beef and stuff too.
And this is a picture my Auntie Kathryn took.


And this is a picture of me when I went to sleep in the cabinet because it was really late and they all kept blabbing and I should have been in bed but instead I was in a cabinet wearing a belly band.

The moms.

So Monday was my mom's birthday and she was sleeping in when her phone rang and it was a person who said sorry you didn't get the new job you really wanted so my mom had the worst birthday ever. Happy birthday mom! I'm sorry you had such a sucky day.

And this is a picture of me and Odin that my mom really likes.

Message from Pearl.

So Pearl sent me an e-mail today and this is what she has to say.

"Thank you all for the healing vibes. I know that they are working. I'm starting to go on walkies and do face biteys on Ruby. My eyes are pretty again. Thank all of you so much!"

Fail.

So if you haven't been to failblog.org, it's pretty much the funniest thing ever and you are totally missing out.



see more pwn and owned pictures

Abuse.

So, I don't really know what is wrong with my mother because she has been neglecting the blog and your blogs like never before. She pretty much says she doesn't have time right now which is total BS, but whatever. And the worst part is they have been kenneling me when they leave - something about me forgetting how to be housebroken or something which is also total BS. (Ike's mom here: NOT total BS!)
My mom said it's something about work schedule changes and stuff that are making it hard for her to help me blog and because it's summer we go out and do a lot more things like go to Uncle Ansel and Auntie Kathryn's house (where I have to wear a diaper because I accidentally peed on their brand new hardwood floor.) (Ike's mom here: Ike is lucky he is still allowed over there!)
And I am also hearing talk about a trip to Washington which I was really excited about until I heard that I'm not going and my grandma is staying with me which is ok, I guess, even though I've never seen the ocean. So someone should call the ASPCA because there has been nothing but abuse around here.
And this is a really old picture of me because my mom doesn't even take my picture anymore.

Oh, and BTW - Pearl is doing great even though it's osteosarcoma that she has but she is being a tripod really well!

Hiding out.

Hey guys! Sorry I totally haven't been around and haven't been visiting any blogs or posting or anything. Things have been busy around here - my dad got a new job and my mom has been doing other stuff - like ignoring me. I will be back to blogging in a bit.
Pearl is doing great! We should hear about bone today ... fingers crossed it's not osteosarcoma and is another type of cancer.
And here's a picture of me because it's my blog.

Quick Pearl Update.

So Pearl had the surgery yesterday and she slept over at my house on the air bed because she needed to be on fluids overnight. She is doing great and she tried to run up some stairs this morning so my dad and to go get her off them because she wanted to go home. I'm writing this from her house right now and thanks for all the concern and for being so nice and stuff. I will keep you all updated!

Adoption Day #2 WOOT!

Happy adoption day to me, happy adoption day to me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
If you haven't figured it out already, it's my adoption day tomorrow! I've been with my mom and dad for two whole years, pretty much the best two years of my life, like no contest. I haven't gotten any pressies yet, but I'm sure my mom won't hold out on me!
Here are some pics from the ride home when I was adopted. Man, was I happy!


PS - Pearl is having the amputation on Thursday. Thank you for all your kind words and thoughts.