Saturday, August 25, 2007


Since I am such a creative guy and also very pop-culture savvy, I have written a song for my good friend Joe Stains and it's sung to the tune of Chocolate Rain. I welcome all of you other dogs and hamsterriers to enter an Ike's Life Original Contest. Add your line to the Joe Stains song in the comments section of this post and if Joe will do the honor, he will choose the winner. The winner will receive something totally awesome but my mom says cat turds don't ship well so it will have to be something almost as good.

Meet Joe Stains
Says his brother Tanner has no brains
He’s Joe Stains
He’s so tough he never feels the pain
He’s Joe Stains
Lives in the desert where it never rains
He’s Joe Stains
Pittsburg Steelers play his favorite game
He’s Joe Stains
Poopin’ by the TV’s how he got his name
He’s Joe Stains

So here's a pic of Mr. Stains if you are like the only dog or hamsterrier on the Internet who doesn't know who he is because he's a total celebrity.

The Fine Print: Mr. Stains is allowed to enter lines for the song, but he is not allowed to choose himself or family members as a winner unless the Doofus comes up with a line that is so obviously the best that it would be a shame to not let him win just because he is Joe's brother.
Deadline: Thursday August 30 9pm Central Time.


Joe Stains said...

omdog IKE MOM LOVES THIS SONG and has already been walking around singing about Joe Stains! This is a super idea and we will be promoting the contest on our blog too! I wouldn't think Tanner would be able to come up with anything at ALL so no worries there.

Lorenza said...

He'll be happy to see Tanner going away
He's Joe Stains


Joe Stains said...


My name is Tanner I cant eat chocolate rain because it will kill a lot cells inside of my brain

Luckie Girl said...

Oh Ike, you certainly are a very talented song writer. :) I'll like to see how the other entries are like. :) Good luck to everydog n Girl Girl who's participating!

Stanley said...


You're killin' me & I'm lovin' this. OK. Here goes:
He's Joe Stains
He's so HOT he even dates Claire Danes
He's Joe Stains
Like burning acid running through my veins

Hey, is that 2 entries?? Whatever. I loved doing this game... for the pure joy of singing 'bout Joey!

Goob love,

Ozzie, Rocky and Lola said...

He's Joe Stains
His love for Cuz's never wanes.
(Rocky's Entry)

He's Joe Stains
His poor little brother Tanner, has no brains.
(Ozzie's Entry)

Jessica said...

LOL...this is too funny.

He will always be Tanners pain
He's Joe Stains

Seadra and Zoe

Jen and Suki said...

Hmm, I just met Joe a little while ago so I'm still getting to know him, but I do know this:

He's Joe Stains
Bull Pizzle has met its slobbery bane

Ruby Bleu said...

OMdOG my Mom CANNOT stop fact I think she may have peepee'd a little!!! OK, this is tough...Ike has already don't such a great job, hmmm....

He's Joe Stains
Living with the Doofus makes him go insane.
He's Joe Stains
Eating too many hot dogs puts his butt in pain

OK, I had to follow the lead of my Stanny and enter twice. Sorry!

Lots of Licks, Ruby

The Airechicks said...

He's Joe Stains

"Karate is his game"

The Army of Four said...

Ha roo roo roo! Ruby's entry kills me. I can't stop laughing. I'm laughing so hard, I forgot what I was going to say!
Great contest!
Play bows,

wally said...

He's Joe Stains!
He won't go out-side when it rains

It's Joe Stains!
His favorite QB mooshed his brains*

That's Joe Stains!
His brother's butt makes him eat whole grains

We're dogs with blogs
We give each other snacks and snogs

Oops. i think I just got disqualified for not following directions.

*This is an oblique reference to Ben Roethlisbergerhuahuahua, the Steeler's QB who got in an accident on his motorcycle while not wearing a helmet--duh.

Myeo said...

What a great contest this is.. But we cant think of anything. All the best to those who participates.

Boy n Baby

Balboa said...

OMG, I sat here and laughed and snorted at all the funny entries, I have to think of a good line later.

Frenchie SNorts

Suki & Joey said...

Hahaha! Good idea, Ike! I love the song so far :)

Puggy kisses

Sophie Brador said...

Hey Ike and Joe,
Mine is a two-parter.


He's Joe Stains
Cowboy Pig and Joe are not to blame.
He's Joe Stains
It's not his fault the Doof has got no brain.


With apologies to Tanner, but totally sucking up to Joe.

Sophie Brador said...

He's Joe Stains
I know you think this line is lame, but
He's Joe Stains
and he'll kick your ass if you don't rhyme his name.

Couldn't resist another kick at the can.

Eddie N Peaches said...

Hey! Way cool contest. Hah! Love the entries so far. We'll give it a try...

He's Joe Stains.
Makes James Bond look pretty plain.

Good luck to everydog & GG!

Whoofs & Baroos,
Eddie & Peaches

Sophie Brador said...

One more, and the last one, I promise. It's just that this sound sort of gets stuck in your head and my mom ... well, she can't stop singing it. She's going to drive me insane!!!!


Hey Joe Stains
Ike is like your best-est friend it seems.


Joe Stains said...

oh man IKE how am I ever going to pick a winner?!!! our friends are sooo funny!

MJ's doghouse said...

he s joe stains
his nlog is so funny ..its insane
hes joe stains
there is no blood in his bull pizzle vain
he's joe stains
can we sing this song aqgain and again
hes joe stains..
he is faster than a hurricane

Ume said...

OMD!!! this is too funny! i can laugh till i pee... here's mine!

He's Joe Stains
The only Boston who paints

Girl Girl Hamster said...

Oh that is so nice and funny. Here's mine line:
He's Joe Stains
And he's king of karate

~ Girl girl

Moosie said...

Hello Ike,
I am Huskee's lil' sista and I just wanna drop by and say 'hi' cos you are SO talented...

Martha said...

Ike, you are so smart and talented. Joe is a lucky Boston to have such a good friend like you. Love, Martha

wally said...

He's Joe Stains!
He thinks he's bigger than Great Danes!

He's Joe Stains!
His butt would look good in some Hanes!

That's Joe Stains!
He's so hot he won't date Plain Janes!

Help me Joe Stains!

Russell said...

Yo Ike,

Thanks for stopping by my blog.

Love the song!


Scrappy and Pebbles said...

How funny. love all the submisions. Joe Stains sure is a star.

Scrappy and Pebbles

Ferndoggle said...

OMG, I'm laughing & laughing! These are so good! I couldn't even think of any better.

But I'll be singing the song for weeks & weeks


Ben & Darling said...

Here's mine heres mine:

He's JOe stains
the Joe with the stains.

MJ's doghouse said...

he's joe stains...
some more tunes still remains

Anonymous said...

Hes Joe Stains
In Spain rain falls mainly on the plains

Anonymous said...

He's Joe Stains
Him is love to play in puppy games

powder-puff said...

its NO surprise that everyone wants to sing about JOE STAINS, especially me!!!!

heres mine:

he is one tuff guy, that no one can tame!

great contest!

peace out

Ruby Bleu said...

OK, I have another...

He's Joe Stains
All the fighting with the Doofus makes his Mom insane.

It's Joe Stains
Baseball and football are his favorite games.

OK, that's it.....I promise. I'm done. I can't top the butt entry from Sunday!

Lots of Licks, Ruby

Emily and Ike said...

O.K. Time's up! The results will be announced Friday at 9 p.m. US Central Time.

Stay tuned.

wally said...

Now that time's up can I sing

Hey Joe Stains!
The Yankees are to-ta-lly lame!

Oh crap, he's judging isn't he? I think I just got disqualified again.


Joe Stains said...

IKE, email me at rjudeich1 AT cox. net