CONTEST!

Since I am such a creative guy and also very pop-culture savvy, I have written a song for my good friend Joe Stains and it's sung to the tune of Chocolate Rain. I welcome all of you other dogs and hamsterriers to enter an Ike's Life Original Contest. Add your line to the Joe Stains song in the comments section of this post and if Joe will do the honor, he will choose the winner. The winner will receive something totally awesome but my mom says cat turds don't ship well so it will have to be something almost as good.

Meet Joe Stains
Says his brother Tanner has no brains
He’s Joe Stains
He’s so tough he never feels the pain
He’s Joe Stains
Lives in the desert where it never rains
He’s Joe Stains
Pittsburg Steelers play his favorite game
He’s Joe Stains
Poopin’ by the TV’s how he got his name
He’s Joe Stains

So here's a pic of Mr. Stains if you are like the only dog or hamsterrier on the Internet who doesn't know who he is because he's a total celebrity.


The Fine Print: Mr. Stains is allowed to enter lines for the song, but he is not allowed to choose himself or family members as a winner unless the Doofus comes up with a line that is so obviously the best that it would be a shame to not let him win just because he is Joe's brother.
Deadline: Thursday August 30 9pm Central Time.

Sorry I haven't been around much.

So I haven't really been posting or visiting all my friends' blogs much and I'm sorry but I have a real excuse and that excuse is that my great-grandma died and we had to take a road trip to Wisconsin again and we stayed in a hotel again except this time the hotel was crappy. And the hotel was super gross because it was a Super 8 because my grandpa booked it and he just doesn't really know anything about hotels and this was a hotel with an M instead of an H which means it's gross. There were cigarette burn holes in the sheets and the box springs on the beds were stained with brown and the grossest thing was the blood smear on the side of the TV. But I slept fine even if my mom and dad didn't and then I had to stay in the hotel with an M for like ever while they went to the funeral which dogs weren't allowed at and then they came and got me and drove me to my mom's cousin's house where they have show horses and I stayed in my kennel in a barn which smelled awesome! And then I met their corgi named Squirt and I tried to kill him but they stopped me and then I think we would have been friends but we didn't have time to be friends because we had to drive home.
And my mom is off work today because her friend at work said she would work for her so she could have a day to recuperate from the long road trip and that was really nice so here is a shout out to Maria - woot woot!
And I don't really have pics of this trip because my mom said you don't take pictures at funerals even though I have a blog and friends that need visuals but she just doesn't understand.
So here is the one picture and it's of me on the cigarette burned bed and I'm chewing on my pizzle.

Meeting Gramps.

So last night, I met my Grandpa for the first time because he lives in Chile and that's where the make the really good, spicy meaty bean stuff. And he brought me some toys from relatives that I've never met and they are the Miles and they live in New England and that is miles and miles away. Thank you Miles family for the stuffies - the snail is almost dead!

And this is a picture of me and my gramps and I'm a little nervous because I'm not too keen on strangers touching me even if we are related and he brought me presents.


And this is a picture of me maiming the snail.

The wild things are in Gooberstan.

So today was an excellent day in St. Paul because my mom played hooky from work - she told them she has diarrhea (Ike's mom here: my theory is if you admit to having diarrhea, it must be true!) and she stayed home with me all day. So I did my usual 6 hours of sleeping on the couch and then just now got up to pee and poo and what do I find but a package from Stanley waiting outside my door!
You see, Stanley had this Where the Wild Things Are stuffie and my mom totally loves that book and he said that he would send me one if he ever found one and he did and it is a chicken and it even has dried Stanley goob on it! So the first thing I did was attack it and then my mom took it away because she doesn't want disemboweled Wild Thing chicken on her rug and she likes it so she kinda wants to keep it. Whatever! Stanley gave it to me and it's mine!
So here's a picture of what Stan and ZZ did to their Wild Thing and it's what my mom doesn't want me to do to mine.


And this is a picture of how surprized I am to get a package when it's not even my adoption anniversary or anything - thanks Stanley!


And this is a picture of the beginning of the disemboweling right before my mom took my gift away!

Raining on my parade.

So tonight we were supposed to go to the Irish Festival on Harriet Island, but there is a big storm, and I'm super bummed because I went last year and I got to eat a lot of stuff and a lot of people said hi to me. And there has been no rain at all this summer except for a huge storm last night and I slept under the covers because it was so loud and a lot of trees fell over but none in my yard.
And my dad has a show on KFAI radio every Sunday night at 10:30pm and it's called Variations on a Theme and tomorrow he is doing a show on the best subject ever - DOGS! And you can listen to it online if you want.
And I'm sorry I haven't posted a lot lately or gone to many blogs to comment because my mom has been really lazy and hasn't been helping me and there's nothing going on around here either so we're kinda lethargic.
And this is a picture of me ready for the show and then my dad told me it's tomorrow.

Cousins.

So, I got two new cousins this week and one was born on Wednesday and her name is Nia and the other was born today and her name is Nina which is super confusing. So welcome to the world Nia and Nina and here are some words to live by: Be good and you will get treats, be bad and you will still get treats.
So here is a picture of Nia and she lives in California and Nina is in Korea but the family will be back in the states soon and I don't have a picture of her yet. And Nia is smiling because she is thinking about dogs.


Edit - Nina got a name change to Jina at the last minute. Whew - confusion averted!
And here's a picture of Jina.

Bridge.

Just a quick post - our thoughts are with all the people and the families of those involved in the bridge collapse in Minneapolis over the Mississippi.
My brother drove over that bridge earlier today, and we are thankful we are all ok.
Emily and Ike