I'm Dreaming of an Interesting Christmas.

Ok, so my mom and dad are totes boring because they didn't do anything on Christmas! They went over to my auntie and uncle's place, where I'm not invited, on Christmas eve and had some awesome prime rib and Yorkshire pudding and other stuff and were supposed to bring me some measly scraps and forgot them! Then on Christmas, they stayed home and were totally lazy and didn't even get dressed until like four o-clock and we walked down to dog beach and watched the sunset which would have been cool except the beach was wet because the tide was low and my toes were totes chilly! I wore my new cable-knit wool fisherman sweater which I look really handsome wearing, but my dad had to carry me a lot because I was shivering so much. (Ike's mom here: it was 40 degrees with a little wind on the beach, he is such a baby!) And the worst part was all the big dogs running around because it's the off-leash park and I really wanted to play (Ike's mom here: when Ike says play, he means hang from their necks like a little brown vampire and pull out great tufts of fur) with them but my dad picked me up whenever there was a dog around. And there were tons of rocks with barnacles and barnacles are really sharp so I think maybe I need to wear boots because I have really delicate foot skin.
And then we came home because I almost froze to death!!!!! My mom and dad fired up the grill and made these awesome grass-fed steaks and lobster tails and I got to eat a ton of steak with my boring kibble and the cats got shredded lobster tail on their food being that it was Christmas and all. My mom used the whole Fetchdog gift certificate on me because I'm the most deserving (Ike's mom here: We got the cats some ID tags - they don't have other cat stuff) and all my stuff came in the mail and I got two wool sweaters and a new collar and leash which I will show you soon and they got a puppy gate so I'm not under my Grandma's feet in the kitchen like she says I always am which I'm not.
Here's an old pic of me because do you think my mom could take some pics of me in my new stuff?

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

Pizza Night!

Ok, so tonight was impromptu pizza night! Woot! My mom and dad went to Trader Joe's and got a bag-o-dough and some other stuff and threw it all together made some totally awesome sort of homemade pizza!

I was wanting some pizza really bad, so I tried looking cute.

When that didn't work, I went with my Jedi mind trick.

It totally worked, and they made this mini pizza for me!


My eyes nearly popped out of my head!

My dad is working on the wait command with me. He's sooooo mean.


But it was so worth it.


High 10 for awesome pizza!

The Christmas Bells are Ringing!

Ok, so metaphorically speaking the bells are ringing because my mom is starting to get all Christmas cheery but she has only bought like two presents except for the whoppers that she ordered from Fetchdog but she only got all that stuff because of the gift certificate which was free because she thinks she is witty and won a contest. Anyway, the tree went up last weekend and looks really good and Duncan Munkin Pants is pretty much leaving it alone which is a Christmas miracle because he pretty much still acts like a kitten even though he is four.
I am super sad and super missing my grandma and can't believe that she won't be here to celebrate with her only grand-puppy because apparently grandchildren are more important even though they throw temper tantrums for pretty much no reason like because they have to put their pjs on! My temper tantrums are only a little squirt of pee on the floor which is a lot easier to deal with than crocodile tears.
Tomorrow, my mom and dad are going to my mom's work Christmas party and I'm not invited because my mom's boss has two dogs and she thinks that I will go after them which I probably would. One of the dogs is a toy poodle who my mom's boss rescued from this kid who kept breaking the dog's legs. I guess the kid's dad is like a mass murderer or serial killer or something and the townspeople gave him a puppy because it's hard to be the kid of a serial killer but the kid just used the puppy to take out his aggressions which makes me think that kid is going down the same road as pops which is pretty sad.
My mom did the same old boring Photoshop me into an old card trick this year because she's like incapable of change or something. But anyway - here's my new Christmas card a little early because I can't contain how much I want everyone to have a great Christmas. And it especially goes out to Sophie and her mom.

RIP Graham.

Sophie's new brother Graham crossed the bridge. Life dealt him a really crappy hand because he only knew love in his last few months. Please send all your supportive healing vibes Sophie's and her mom's way.
RIP Graham - I wish we had known you much longer.

The Cards are Rolling In!

So I've gotten a butt-load of cards from all my buddies, and my mom finally finished my card and will be sending them off tomorrow.
Now, there hasn't been a lot going on here - just some f-ing snow and freezing rain! And my mom hasn't been giving me any walkies - like none! It's total BS and I can't wait for my grandma to come home so I can start getting some exercise. Martha will totes be ashamed of me as a husband if she sees how tubby I've gotten.
And last night I was getting all geared up for night-time snackies and then my mom takes my collar off and plunks me in the tub.
And I found out that my grandma isn't going to be back from Austin for Christmas so, like, what am I going to eat?
So here I am after my bath and my mom is trying to make amends. And I'm all, whatevs lady.

So I laid down with Odi who is pretty much my only friend because he would never give me a bath.


And here, I'm just looking like a playa.

My mom is making me mention that she won a $250 gift certificate to fetchdog.com and she bought a bunch of stuff for me yesterday. Whatevs.

Lummi Island.

So last weekend (which was forever ago but my mom is just getting around to posting this) we took a ferry to Lummi Island which was totally beautiful!
We went to a sculpture garden where we looked at some really crazy sculptures and I sat in the car while my mom and dad went to a restaurant - nice, huh? I guess they did bring me a clam chowder sandwich that they made, but still. We sat in the sun at the sculpture place for a super long time, and we listened to the waves and got really tan.
This is the view from the sunny spot.

Here's me and my mom.
I was staring at the sea looking really, super handsome.

My mom thinks my dad looks really handsome here. I think I look really handsome.

And here's me and my mom by some whale bones.

Xmas Cards.

Ok, so someone forgot to get on the xmas card list again this year, so if you want a card from a really handsome dude, please email me with your address!
emilyandian @ gmail.com